4 C’s of Midlife Relationships
A relationship is the most important thing from midlife to old age after good health. How can we sustain good and enduring relationships?
Chemistry, character, competence, capacity and capability.
These are the five imperatives required to re-ignite your midlife relationship. These points will support the development of a long-term journey from midlife to old age.
The first is chemistry the feeling of connection, the loose sense of affinity, the merger of personalities, emotions and workstyle, and the ability to operate together and produce intended results home or within social functions.
This does not suggest an absence of disagreement, argument, divergence, but a feeling and wanting to work together comfortably and wanting to stay together without feeling irritable or caged. The sense of your protagonist being your alchemy.
Sometimes, it takes time to build or find ourselves because of our unconscious biases and unsaid heightened expectations. The expressions “bad chemistry” or “bad attitude” are used erroneously and interchangeably to describe divergent, curious, creative, spontaneous, innovative, and risk taker or completely unaligned to the norm. It can also mean someone who is sociable, eager to belong, or tough-minded, direct, decisive or intuitive, imaginative, trusting, empathetic, calculative, and tender.
These unique individual expressions may be viewed as "bad chemistry" or "bad attitude" because it may not fit into our own way of life and style but as we engage in work, projects and events we may begin to see the value of divergence and then the chemistry begins to show, the fuzzy feeling begins to drain out.
The second is character, which are the distinguishing features and attributes of a person. These are your complex, mental, ethical, and emotional state that make you act with integrity, honesty, commitment, and consistence.
These are values and patterns of personal expressions and behaviours. You will need to assess yourself and note your positive amiable qualities, negative undesirable qualities, and neutral qualities that you need to uphold, improve, or change so that you have a better and a more fulfilling relationship.
Who do you bring to the relationship? What character are you playing, and how do people engage with or benefit from this character?
At midlife, your personality is quickly visible while your character is quietly revealed over time. These are the predictors of your attitude and behaviour.
You would benefit a great deal from your character and personality awareness and the impact on you and your social and professional contacts.
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Your personality is easy to read, and we are all experts at judging people as funny, extroverted, optimistic, confident or lazy, negative, shy, and nice. As we interact longer, we see the underlying values that drive the person’s character and make them take specific decisions and actions. Always remember that personality traits are fluid and driven by external and internal factors while your character is ingrained and requires intrusive review before you can significantly improve.
The third is competence, your ability to get the job done, to lead in the area of your strength.
You need to determine the role you play in life as father, mother, son, uncle, colleague, the duties you need to fulfil, and the competencies required to be a good husband or good wife.
Competence requires education, information, practice, feedback, and practice to become successful and efficient in the role.
We need to develop higher rates of results by acquiring sufficient knowledge, judgement, skills, strength, and process information and authority.
Fourthly, you need capacity and capability to handle the extreme pressures of work, life, family, and society. The ability to handle multiple challenges from different sources. The growing potentials to deal with different situations that happen to you and your relationships.
So, it is time to work on yourself and become a better person, become ready to reignite new passions and affection in your relationships.
The beauty of long-life is in the quality of relationships we have, hold, and progress.
"Loss Of Chemistry And Connection Is A Midlife Encounter Requiring Intentional, Calm, Active-Open Communication, Conflict Resolution & New Bonding Experiences. You need to take that bold step today."
Next time let's talk about the 7 types of relationships you need to develop before old age.
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