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How Did You Get Here? - Turns Out Your "Relationship" Was Nothing More Than A Situationship

To Stay or Not To Stay? To Go or Not To Go?

This is the key question. If you ask me, na who I go ask?

Who did you ask? Have you made a decision?

Wait… what’s happening here?

Go back and read part 1 of this story by clicking on the link below.

Now that you have read part 1, let’s continue.

You need to critically examine your situationship and ask yourself this question.

Are you the “hired” acting boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, or spouse-to-be until the real person shows up?

Now, you may come to realise by role definition that your benefits structure from the situationship needs to be clearer and delivered more satisfactorily.

Is your partner using the situationship to practise a new approach to life and family?

If this is the case, because of the loose thread and limited emotions, you can act beautifully and self-transit in readiness for the next life. You are helping them unveil their next and better version, while you also enjoy the benefits of “love, care, kindness” or whatever they are trying to acquire into their character.

Another challenge with situationship is the social connection and relationship definition.

When your family and friends ask you about your partner, you are unable to answer clearly, so you say he/she is “just a friend.”

In the case of a single parent, you know that this person will not become your husband/wife and a stepfather/stepmother to your child(ren).

This leaves the family in a different state of confusion not knowing how to deal with the person, what to expect, and the limit of the request.

Also, your social network is left wondering whether to define you as “single” or “hooked.”

The situationship creates a feeling of a committed relationship but you are “single” yet experiencing all the complex challenges of a relationship like finance sharing, communication challenges, truth questioning, emotional challenges, and these further compounds the challenge because one party will eventually say, “I’m tired! - I no do again.”

We are not even in a relationship yet and everything is so complicated.”

This can leave the other party feeling heartbroken yet unable to express the hurt because it is out of place to discuss or force on it.

The protective sense of ownership kicks into action when you go for several engagements (that’s if you agreed to be seen together publicly). Your partner begins to hover while you are trying to connect with other people, creating an awkwardness that cannot be named or discussed. If you manage to create a conversation around it, you begin to sound like you are “asking for more.” More what?

You may get questions like “why are you making a big deal out of nothing?” or even worse, the extreme reality check statement of “you are not my boyfriend/girlfriend so I can do what I want” then comes.

You think to yourself,

Wawuuu! How did I get here? Gosh!

Getting out can become a complex process if one partner is highly insecure and the other is already detached.


How do you end what never really started?

How do you grieve over the end of a situationship? You suddenly realise that you have invested emotionally and you are open and vulnerable but you can’t define it as love. You also express “ambiguous pain and loss,” the feeling of losing what you never had and feeling somewhat happy that you may be able to move on and find a proper and labelled relationship.

For many people, situationships may be the most practical relationship they can afford at this time due to complex family status and related attendant issues.

For more details about dealing with diverse situations in broader circumstances, let’s talk.

Call/Send Us A Chat: +2348167831266

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