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Midlife Black Out 2

We are back again with "Midlife Black Out." If you have not read part 1, click on the button below.

Are you ready to read the rest of Jackie’s story?

Let’s continue…

I changed the ceremony procedures and the choir began to sing, while we ushered the bride and groom into an office for a quick chat.

Jackie, the bride, opened her mouth to speak but started wailing, crying and raising her hands. She faced the wall, head on the wall and cried deeply and loudly. I requested everyone to please leave the room for a moment so that we give her time to connect with herself and to find her true reality at this point.

By this time, the choir had sung for 25 minutes and the family and guests were already headed for their own Black-Out experience.

Another critical reason why we experience Black-Out is the ideology we project on life - the basis of our assumptions. We must come to terms with the existential, terminal nature of life and the limited control we have over many situations and other people. Life is about time, seasons, a series of beginnings and endings. Life is about births - nurturing, growth, developments, changes and deaths. We need to come to this appreciation early in life, so that when we experience transitions, we are able to better manage our emotions and the situation. We can learn and grow from these situations and experience calmness, peace and true self-transformation.

Jackie was left alone for about 10 minutes, when I came back into the office, she was looking through the window of the high rise building, staring at the seaport in a very calm, determined and fixated way.

Then I asked her the big question - have you left your To-Do or Not-To-Do point about this wedding?

She kept staring at the seaport and then after a long 1 minute silence, she said “YES”.

We have to think and consider our blindspots - points that can lead to Black Outs and develop a plan to deal with those curves. What are the sharp curves ahead of you and how do you plan to cope with the curves?

  • Be ready and open to discuss with family and friends or a coach.

  • Question and assess your basic assumptions about life, people and situations.

  • Discuss your expectations and assumptions and feel the response of your partner or family.

Jackie said to me, “I thought I would find happiness and euphoria in this experience. I thought this would change everything for me, I was expecting a boost of joy, peace and fulfillment but no, I suddenly feel lost, alone and wandering. But, Yes, I will continue with the ceremony and deal with whatever I find along the path”.

As we get older, we come to terms with the reality of new beginnings and a series of ends. The beauty of the circle of life. The Black-Out moments form part of the circle of life, the grace is to be able to find yourself and to anchor yourself in your purpose and the motives of your actions.

You can also read the Midlife Encounters Post - “Being with You is Being Alone at Midlife”.


Do you want Jackie's story to continue? Can you relate to Jackie?

Let us know in the comments.


Are you experiencing a "black out" too? You can reach out to the author for counselling.



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This is so good, thank you for this platform ☺️I really do not see the need for Jackie's story to continue. Her willingness to continue with the ceremony shows a light up and hope. I experienced a major blackout after my dad passed away, I had cared for him while he was here. I found out that without purpose and mindfulness there will be periodic blackouts. Purpose guides fulfilment.💕

Dec 13, 2022
Replying to

We are so sorry for your loss @spiritink1.1

Thank you for sharing, we really appreciate it and we hope our posts will keep bringing inspiration.

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