You got married to a dynamic, handsome, brilliant, macho man, brave and in charge of the home. You have been married for over 15 years and you really do appreciate the strength and vitality of your graceful husband.
Recently, you've begun to see a new side of your husband. Firstly, one day you thought you saw him crying or weeping, but he quickly cleaned up and told you he was only yawning and you believed, but…
Again you saw him, his head down red eyes and lashing out unusually at someone for what you thought was really unnecessary. Now you are concerned and wondering what is going on?
Do men cry? Do real men cry?
Midlife encounters can leave the bravest of men speechless and without courage to deal with the complexities of life.
Why do men, women and children believe and expect that men should not cry? Did anyone remove their tear glands or remove the emotional part of a man?
Inability to cry is different from hiding and covering up with a hero attitude. You just need to cut through the ice and connect with a man at his most vulnerable point- he will crack and yield to you, even the toughest looking and complex men cry -- something will break you.
So it's not unusual to find your husband crying and don't make it a big issue. All you need to do is provide comfort and confidence, don't watch him cry, hold him from behind, sink your head into the hollow of his back and just hold him - tell him things will be okay and then be silent. Avoid logical talk when men cry and avoid saying something that may suggest he is weak and that crying is not manly. If you do that you have just signed a contract of extreme disconnection. He will never show you his weakness.
Men were told, “Men don't cry, men don't fall or fail - men are strong.” These words create a conflict between the philosophy of the man, the emotions and his experiences, he begins to
Link here to see a complete list of why men cry.
struggle with his mind and soul asking himself “when does he cry” and when he does not cry he is told he is too hard and unemotional plunging him into deeper confusion and self doubt about his strength as a man.